Yoga for parents of toddlers

Move crayons, picture books and blocks to clear a space large enough for a yoga mat.
Begin in mountain pose.
Exhale to forward bend, widening stance to allow your child to crawl between your legs.
Be careful not to kick your child as you inhale to a lunge.
Exhale to plank.
Breathe deeply as your child straddles your back and attempts to ride you like a horse.
Be careful not to send your child flying as you lower to upward dog.
If your child is still on your back, breathe deeply until he or she becomes distracted.
Exhale to downward dog.
Remove your child from the coffee table.
Back into downward dog.
Scold your child for dumping his or her plate of snacks on the floor.
Back into downward dog.
Inhale to lunge.
Exhale to forward bend.
When your child comes dangerously close to hitting the dog with a drumstick, think to yourself "screw this," and go for a walk instead.
Explanatory photos to follow. Namaste.